Random thoughts around 4 am
1- I think, as an introvert, I’m not really open, out going, I don’t communicate easily. And I think I’m ok with that right now. I am self aware and can only be more loose and comfortable around “my people”, and not even right away. I think and feel deeply, I choose my words carefully; I give considered responses, I’m interested in the details; wants a thorough understanding of things, I learn best through observation, I’m not highly sociable or party animal, I’m more distant and reserved in large groups, always look for me in the back where the wallflowers are, I’m that guy wandering around the party by myself trying not to be noticed but desperately wants to.
2- Don’t fall back in love with someone who loved you because of your writings, I learned that the hard way, because then they’re loving their idea of you, I know it’s so hard to reject that love when you’re alone and miserable, and tell them that the writings they love are mostly the best part, and by the best part I don’t necessarily mean the good part. And if you’re going to judge a writer’s personality as a whole only by his writings, then you probably will stop loving him if you get to read his lousy first drafts.
Most of the times a writer’s life IS his very own lousy first draft of the life he had in mind.